Tales of Moses

Do you remember your favorite book from childhood?

I seldom read Ugandan novels but this particular one was a work of art, with sprinkles of humor and the best part was that they literally spoke my language.

Moses was a novel series about a random boarding student in a typical single sex school in Uganda. By virtue of the fact that I was in high school then, I could relate to each sentence, .

One of the narrations that still makes me giggle beneath my breathe was his vivid description of the meals served in school. Any Ugandan from a typical low class traditional school can relate. Students would rush from the classrooms after a long morning lived off of one cup of porridge, stand in long ques waiting their turn under the scorching sun during lunch break only to be served watery sauce splashed onto their plastic plates welcomed by the black sight of bean weavles soldiers floating onto the hot translucent soup with about 3-5 bean seeds and creamish posho to seal the deal.

Being in the stage of rebellion, unlike some submissive school mates that obeyed religiously for fear of punishments, Moses and a few friends would package the weavles into kaveras (polythenes) and find creative ways of seeking revenge.

“911 what’s your emergency?” The voice on the other side of the telephone would ask. “We have been infiltrated by a swam of aliens that are being shaved down our throats” Moses would reply and offer directions before he hang up as his friends laughed hilariously.

The kaveras would then be taken to the headmaster’s office (principal), slipped tragically under his door then Moses and his friends would take to their heels in different directions.

Their unruly behaviors always resulted into a few days of uncomfortability as they hardly sat properly on the hard desks since their buttocks were still recovering from the whips they received mercilessly.

In Africa we say a black child’s ears are on his bums but for Moses and his crew, the disciplinery committee failed to locate their ears as they feasted on trouble and were very popular for their notorious behavior.

Till date, I can’t put my finger on how they never got expelled because snapping back to reality, such notorious behavior would never be tolerated in any school in my Country. I guess that’s the beauty of imagination, it takes you places your feet might never step, show you things your eyes may never see and make you sip a cocktail of random emotions all at once.